So, I wanted to talk about Ms. O's rate of juice box consumption.
In "The One That Got Away," Ms. O states that 1,000 juice boxes is a "day's supply." While she may have "cut back," we're going to assume that her daily consumption remained about the same- 1,000 juice boxes.
For some reason, juice box companies aren't making this easy for me. Juice boxes regularly come in 4.23 fl oz, 6.75 fl oz, and 6 fl oz- NONE OF WHICH GO INTO 16 FL OZ EVENLY URRRRGGHHHH
So I'll just use (algebra and) a calculator to discover how much sugar Ms. O is consuming in a day.
So first, let's find out how many fl. oz Ms. O would be drinking in a day, assuming she drank 6 fl oz boxes.
6 times 1000 is 6000 fl oz. WOW. The amount of water suggested (not that you have to or that you're supposed to) per day is only 96 fl oz. Ms. O would have to replace all her meals with juice. If she somehow managed to drink one juice box a second, she could have it done in 16 minutes, although no human can hold 6000 fl oz.
So, how many grams of sugar in a fl oz of juice? 2.9 grams. So, if we multiply 2.9 by 6000, we'll get how many grams of sugar she's consuming in a day.
17,400 GRAMS OF SUGAR.
WAT. EVEN.
OKAY LOOK MS.O CANNOT BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW
SHE HAS DIED OF HEART DISEASE
OR LIVER FAILURE
OR KIDNEY FAILURE??
OR KIDNEY STONES,
DIABETES,
BEING INCREDIBLY OBESE,
IDK WHAT THE HECK ELSE
WHERE IS SHE BURNING OFF THIS SUGAR
I DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAAAND)
IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW HE EATS AND BREATHES AND OTHER SCIENCE FACTS
JUST REPEAT THESE WORDS- IT'S JUST A SHOW, I SHOULD REALLY JUST RELAX
(for mystery science theater 3000...)